Shattered
by Roth
Summary: Don's thoughts after the shooting at the FBI office. First chapter was revised.
1. Lucky

Title: Blood Relatives

Author: Roth

Rating: PG 13

Spoilers: Rampage, Sniper Zero

Disclaimer: I don't own Numb3rs and neither do you. We don't have a problem so please don't sue.

Summary: Don's thought after the shooting at the office. (Don POV)

Note: I normally don't do tags to episodes or first person stories, but I just loved this episode too much. I was originally considering doing these type of thoughts for four parts of the episodes (The parts where I thought they would work best), and when people thought I should continue it, I decided I would. There are four parts all together, and then, there will be no more. Thanx to my dad for doing a last minute beta. I hope you enjoy.

**Shattered**

Chapter One: Lucky

_"Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am alright, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong." Jane Austen_

I sometimes hate it when my dad is right. I mean, there are sometimes when it's okay and doesn't bother me, like when we have a bet on a game or something, but there are times when I just wish he was completely wrong, a full 180. Like, when he talks about my job being too dangerous, or about how my personal relationships never go anywher,e or how I don't come over and visit enough. That stuff bothers me.

The thing that I hate him being right about most, however, is Charlie and me. I know my dad has spent way more time with him than I have and knows his likes, dislikes, hobbies, almost everything better, but Hell, I'm his big brother. Can't I be right every now and then? Of Course, maybe I shouldn't talk. I could have made a little more effort.

I guess I really got started thinking about Charlie and how my dad is always right about things when we were working on that sniper case. I mean at first, I didn't think much of what my dad said about my job and putting Charlie in danger, but God, I felt my heart stop when I saw David and Charlie show up at the scene, and it didn't start beating again until I saw David push him out of the way and the glass of that car window break. As much as I didn't want to, I was going to tell Dad he was right when I went over to Charlie's house, but in the end, I just couldn't tell him that I nearly got Charlie killed. Now, I've started thinking about it again.

Charlie was down at the office because of this sexual offender case we needed help on. He was explaining his problem to me as best as he could when the shot came. I heard the glass of the window break and then I saw the bullet hole in the board Charlie was using. I threw him to the floor in a split second, shouting at him to get down as I loudly as I could. Like me shouting was gonna stop a bullet.

I was already in "agent mode" as I was getting back to my feet and drawing my gun. I didn't even cast Charlie a second glance as I hurried out of the room trying to avoid the bullets; all I said was stay down. The entire thing went fast for me, but I can't imagine how long it must have seemed for Charlie. I was doing my job; Charlie was just there to try and help me.

Even after it was all over and we were putting the shooter in cuffs, I wasn't really able to process what the Hell had just happened; I still had things as an agent I had to do.

"Who's hit? Who's down!" I shouted hoping to get an answer of no one.

"He's still breathing," Colby told me as he checked over the shooter.

I nodded as I continued to look around the office trying to see if anyone was hurt; that's when I finally saw Charlie. He was walking out of the war room hugging his laptop in front of his chest and looking around the office blankly. It felt like ice had dropped into my stomach.

"Hey," I said as I hurried over to him. "Are you alright?" He didn't answer and simply turned to watch a person who had just walked by which made me even more nervous. "Did you get hit?" I pulled the laptop away from him trying to see if he was okay.

"Huh?" muttered Charlie as he tried to see what I was doing.

"Let me see." I tried to pull his hands away, but he started to push them off.

"No, no, no!" he said, trying to pull away.

"You sure you okay?" I asked as I finally let go.

"I'm okay!" he said loudly. Then he did the thing that probably scared me more than the shooting did; he gave me that empty smile trying to convince me he was fine. It was then I knew he wasn't, but I didn't push it. Megan had walked over to us all just hanging up her phone.

"S.W.A.T.'s mobilizing, the paramedics are on their way. I've got two bullet wounds; they're both minor and some cuts from the glass," she explained quickly.

"That's it?" I asked hopefully.

"No," I heard David reply; Megan and I both turned toward him. "Whoever this guy is, I think he got who he came for." I looked in the interrogation room to see our suspect lying dead on the floor with a bullet wound in his head.

Later, when the office had been emptied and Megan had filled me in on how are shooter had disarmed another agent, I saw Charlie leaning against the building just watching people; he was still hugging that laptop.

"Hey, Charlie," I said as I started to walk over to him. "Hey. How you doing? Are you alright?" I poked his arm slightly, and he turned toward me.

"I'm fine," he said quickly and quietly. "I'm fine. How is everybody?" He looked away from me quickly and then back.

"Well, you know, I mean...Look, all things considered, I'd say we got off lucky." I just sorta shrugged wishing that could make everything better.

"Lucky." I hated the way he said it almost like it was a curse. "He nearly killed all of us- I don't see how you get up and deal with this everyday." That look in his eyes was almost as bad as how he said lucky.

"Eh, you know. I don't get shot at everyday." I let out a small laugh to release some of my stress which I realized a second too late might have been a bad idea. "Come on. I'll buy you some coffee."

Charlie quickly shook his head. "No, I gotta go. I should get back to school. I should get some work done." He walked away without another word just one more scared glance at me as he hugged his laptop tighter like that thing was gonna protect him.

That look in Charlie's eyes was one of the reasons I wish my dad was wrong more often about Charlie and my job. We had gotten off lucky this time, like we had the last time, but that doesn't make it better. I don't want to have to rely on luck to protect my little brother when he's around me, cause luck runs out. Like, my luck had run out on keeping the danger Charlie was in from my dad; this was gonna be all over the news by six.

Still, that look in Charlie's eyes bothers me. It was different from the sniper case or the bank one. I mean, Charlie was shell-shocked.; I would be too if I had been in that situation, but still, it was different. He looked uncomfortable, like he was scared to be there anymore like he was scared to be around me. I'm probably looking way too deep in this, but I just wish Dad would have been wrong. Maybe then Charlie would never have gotten that look in his eyes.

XVIIIIV

TBC


	2. Downtown

Title: Blood Relatives

Author: Roth

Rating: PG 13

Spoilers: Rampage, Sniper Zero

Disclaimer: I don't own Numb3rs and neither do you. We don't have a problem so please don't sue.

Summary: Don's thought after the shooting at the office. (Don POV)

Note: I normally don't do tags to episodes or first person stories, but I just loved this episode too much. I hope you enjoy.

**Shattered**

Chapter Two: Downtown

_"An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true." Doug Larson_

"I can't go downtown."

I stared a my brother wide-eyed surprised by how the words came out; he quickly caught himself a second later. "Not now. I...I'm in-between classes and my cognitive emergence work." What my brother probably realized though was what he really meant came out anyway; my brother was scared to go back downtown.

"Charlie, we're talking about another attack," I pleaded as my brother turned to walk out of the office. I needed Charlie to see how important this was.

He turned back toward me. "Don, you're not listening. I'm saying I can work on your case, okay? I can work here, and I can work at home, and...anything you have send it to me."

I watched my brother walk out of the office and tried to process what the hell had just gone on. "He doesn't seem good, huh?"

Larry sighed as he continued to study the map on the desk; I could tell I wasn't going to like his answer. "Well, protests to the contrary, yesterday's events seemed to have affected his demeanor."

"Yeah well, a bullet misses you by that little, you get a new look inside your own head."

"Look, I understand. I think you just need to acknowledge the emotional impact of that."

"Yeah." I had to pause to think for a second. "He'll be alright," I said, trying to shrug it all off. I looked over at Larry who seemed to have fallen silent after stating his case. "Right?" I'm not sure how I really wanted Larry to respond to that. Did I want him to say yeah just to reassure me or did I want the honest answer.

Larry nodded, but it wasn't very convincing considering the perplexed look on his face and the way he was holding on to his chin. Charlie had to be alright, though. He had bounced back after all the other cases, but that look on his face as he left the office. It was so much like the look on his face at the FBI yesterday. He's scared; I know that, but I think there's more than just a fear of the office. I think he's not only scared of the office; I think he might even be scared to be around me.

I dunno. Maybe I'm still trying to dig too deep into this. I mean there have been lots of times when I thought Charlie was never going to consult again. Hell, there have been a lot of times where I've never wanted Charlie to consult again, but he bounced back. I just gotta give him time. God, that look still bothers me.

XVIIIIV

TBC


	3. Lots of String

Title: Blood Relatives

Author: Roth

Rating: PG 13

Spoilers: Rampage

Disclaimer: I don't own Numb3rs and neither do you. We don't have a problem so please don't sue.

Summary: Don's thought after the shooting at the office. (Don POV)

Note: I normally don't do tags to episodes or first person stories, but I just loved this episode too much. Chapter four will be up tomorrow.

**Shattered**

Chapter Three: Lots of String

_"Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put hem aside and move ahead." Jerry Gillies_

I didn't know Charlie was going to come back down the office; I was hoping he was going to, but I was still surprised to see him standing there with Amita when I turned the corner. I hadn't been able to talk to Dad for awhile, so I wasn't really sure how Charlie was handling everything at home, so him coming down to the office was a big surprise. I was a little nervous though when I saw he wasn't really responding to anyone, and I'm not one hundred percent sure where his mind was or if I wanted to know where it was.

"Hey, guys." They both turned toward me. "How we doing?"

Amita was the first to speak. "Hey."

Charlie seemed to look right past me. "Charlie?" He started to walk past me, and it wasn't until I turned that I actually saw what had captured Charlie's attention so completely. I could have killed whoever brought that damn board out here, but I kept myself calm. I didn't want to freak Charlie out because I was mad, and have him leave. "Oh, yeah. They must have brought those out here. We'll get you another one."

I watched as my little brother examined the bullet hole in the board with two fingers for a second. "Everything alright?" I asked, praying that seeing remnants of the bullet that could have killed him wouldn't push him over the edge. I was shocked when Charlie stopped looking at the hole, erased several symbols, grabbed the marker, and wrote different ones in their place; I know a majority of the time I am at a loss for what is going on in Charlie's head, but I don't think anyone in the world who could have explained that. I looked at Amita, but I could tell she was as confused as I was.

"We're going to need the surveillance footage," said Charlie as he finished the last symbol. He continued to talk as he turned back toward me and Amita. "Some tripods, a laser pointer, and I'm gonna need string."

"String?" I asked; Charlie was confusing the hell out of me today.

He nodded slightly. "Lots of string."

I didn't care where or how I had to get the string, I was going to get it if that meant Charlie was going to stay, and that he was going to be alright. Hell, I would have taken everybody in the buildings shoelaces if I had to.

XVIIIIV

TBC


	4. Fragments

Title: Blood Relatives

Author: Roth

Rating: PG 13

Spoilers: Rampage, Sniper Zero

Disclaimer: I don't own Numb3rs and neither do you. We don't have a problem so please don't sue.

Summary: Don's thought after the shooting at the office. (Don POV)

Note: I normally don't do tags to episodes or first person stories, but I just loved this episode too much.

**Shattered**

Chapter Four: Fragments

_"There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us." Robert Stevenson_

After a case, I always try to just sit down and let everything sink in; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I can tell you one thing. After a case, nobody, including me some of the time wants to be in my head.

Charlie seemed to have recovered from everything just fine, but God, did I wish I could be bouncing back like he was right now. He was rushing around the break room looking for sugar for his coffee, and it was rather entertaining. It was actually brightening up the dark area my mind had become a little for the time being. Still, after a case, my mind was like the Cabrini Green of minds.

"Hey, where the hell did evidence response put the sugar?" he asked, turning toward me.

"I don't know," I replied, not really paying attention to him anymore.

I saw him out of the corner of my eye turn back around to search a drawer, but closed it when he found the sugar wasn't there either. "Some week?" Charlie turned back toward me.

"Yeah." I scratched my head, knowing the comment was directed at my change in demeanor. "I-I mean..I'm cool until everything quiets down then it's like...my head is a bad neighborhood to be in."

Charlie didn't respond. He looked back to the counters and pulled a box of something out of the drawer. "Hey, did you know that if you bend a piece of spaghetti it will always break into three or more pieces?" He held up the box as a visual aid.

I smiled. "No, Charlie. I can't say I do."

"Richie Fineman and Danny Hellis spent an entire night bending spaghetti. Took them twenty years to figure out why you cannot break spaghetti in half."

"And why is that?" I figured Charlie was going to give me a big whole lecture that I was not looking forward to.

Charlie took a few pieces of spaghetti and started to bend them. "Fragmentation Theory." The pieces broke. "Math Stuff."

I waited a second for him to continue to explain, and I was surprised when he didn't. "What's your point?"

Charlie sighed as he handed me a piece of spaghetti. "Not every story has point. Sometimes you...uh you just bend spaghetti to watch it break."

I bent the pasta along with my brother and watched as it broke into several pieces.

"Right," said Charlie, showing me the broken piece.

"Huh." I sat there with my brother bending the pieces for awhile. It was so stupid, but it was a distraction, and I have to admit, it was kind of fun.

The really funny thing though is I saw Dad walk into the office and pause when he saw me and Charlie in the break room. I didn't react though I just continued talking to Charlie and bending the spaghetti. I don't know if Charlie saw him, and if he had, he did the same thing I did and didn't say a word. I saw him leave a second later with Megan, and I smiled slightly. My dad was wrong right then. You see he thinks I didn't see him; the truth, I just didn't want to leave.

XVIIIIV

I'm done. YAY! I'm also depressed which I won't go into. I'm sorry if I didn't spell the name of the Fragmentation Theory guys right. I couldn't find it online. Hope you enjoyed. BYES TO ALL!


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